My wife recently came home from a convention in a distant city and brought me this little gift. It’s a button that when you push the top says things like, “You are a BADASS!” That’s cool. I’ll put it on my desk at work to remind me that I am a badass. The best part though is the little book that came with it. I thought it curious that it had a “manual” so I started looking at it. It’s not a manual. It’s a little mini book written by a lady named Jen Sincero and published by Running Press in Philadelphia full of interesting and helpful tips on how to live a life of badassery (yeah, I just made that word up.). So, today, I thought I would share one of the chapters in it titled, “How To Embrace Your Inner Badass”. I found it helpful and want to share it with all of you.
So here goes:
Love The One You Is.
Imagine what our world would be like if everyone loved themselves so much that they weren’t threatened by other people’s opinions or skin colors or sexual preferences or talents or education or possessions or lack of possessions or religious beliefs or customs or their general tendency to just be whoever the hell they are. Imagine how different your reality would be (and the reality of everyone surrounding you) if you woke up every morning certain of your own lovability and your critically important role on this planet. And if you poo pooed shame, guilt, self-doubt and self-loathing and allowed your to be, do and have everything your little heart desired.
That’s the world I want to live in..
In the interest of perpetuating such radical, reality-altering self-love, here are some of the best ways to win yourself over again:
1. Appreciate How Special You Are. You are the only you that will ever be. You are kind of a big deal.
2. Drown yourself in Affirmations. Trust me, I wouldn’t do this to you unless I had to, but affirmations work. Find a few phrases that get to the heart of what you need to hear the most and repeat them all day long in your head, in the car, while you’re walking down the street pretending to be on the phone, under your breath in line at the DMV. Write them on Post-it notes and stick them around your house, on your mirrors, in your refrigerator, in your car.
3. Ditch the Self-Deprecating Humor. Seemingly harmless jokes, over time, turn into seriously destructive beliefs. Our thoughts become our words, our words become our beliefs, our beliefs become our actions, our actions become our habits, and our habits become our realities. Just stop.
Also, notice the verbiage that runs through your mind when you’re being the most heinous to yourself and come up with a new-and-improved response. For example, if every time you look in the mirror, your first thought is “yikes”, make a conscious effort to change it to “hi, gorgeous!”
4. Let the Love In. Receive compliments gracefully instead of countering with a disclaimer such as, “Oh, this ratty old thing?” Try this instead: “Thank you.” Period.
Take care of your body, too. Say nice things about your body, dress it up, and take it out. Move it, stretch it, nourish it, hydrate it, pay attention to it – the better our bodies feel, the happier and more productive we are.
5. Don’t compare Yourself to Others. Do not waste your precious time giving one single crap about what anybody else thinks of you. What other people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
The only questions you ever need to consider when making decisions about your life are 1) Is this something I want to be, do, or have? 2) Is this going to take me in the direction I want to go (not should go)? And 3) Is this going to screw over anybody else in the process? (Your mother being disappointed or your friends being outraged does not qualify as screwing someone over.)
All that matters is what’s true for you, and if you can stay connected to that without straying, you will be a mighty superhero.
You are more than enough. Avoid comparison like the plague.
6. Forgive Yourself. You have screwed up in the past. You will screw up again. Dragging around guilt and self-criticism is beyond unhealthy and is utterly pointless, not to mention boring. Guilt, shame, and self-criticism are some of the most destructive forces in your life, which is why forgiving yourself is one of the most powerful. You aren’t a better person for feeling guilty or bad about yourself, just a sadder one.
7. Love Yourself. Because it’s the Holy Grail of happiness.
There’s more fun and helpful nuggets in this little book, but that one chapter is full of gold and if you never read the rest of the book has the power to transform everyone of us into the hero of our own stories and someone who is happy and successful in their life.
I hope you enjoyed this today and take a piece of it with you into your world. Here’s to all of our inner badass who is screaming to get out.
Love and Light,